Don't stop believe.

Recent year wasn't the best one for me, problems with health, incomprehension from beloved ones etc. did not help me. I felt very weak, my body has changed totally and my minds too but the changes chose wrong direction. My mind was full of strange, dangerous, even scary thoughts. Of course I knew that it is not good but my right thoughts fought a loosing battle with the dark ones. When I realized what I have done with me I was terrified. I persuaded myself how stupid, worthless and ugly I am. It was the worst thing - I really belived in those words.

One day I thought about new-wrong me and I was so annoyed at me, I couldn't institute worse image of myself, I pondered pros and cons of my mindless and regrettable view of my person. In a results I decided to come back to previous shapes . So from now on I'm strong, self-confident and aware of my worth again.

Now I must do my best to help my dreams come true, I will work over every dream and achieve most of them, there is no thing more important than me, my plans and dreams at the moment. Yeap, maybe it is egoism but I don't want to do everything for others, now I want to have a lot of time for me. I'm aware this part of my life is very significant so it's a good time to use my possibilities to expand knowledge, just taking care of my needs and wholly believe in myself.

When you need something to believe in, start with yourself.

Believe in yourself and all that you are. Know that there is something inside you that is greater than any obstacle. - Christian Larson.

If you think you can - you can, and if you think
 you cannot - you're wrong.

                                     

Free days.

I have 4 free days due to yesterdays All Saints Day. Of course we visited cemeteries and lighted a candles an many graves yesterday. I like this tradition but I think that people should remember about these who passed away not only once a year and take more care about graves of thier family. Members of my family (especially my Mother) visit graveyard very often.

We still did not get any information about Łukasz... he's wife has visited fortune-teller, and he told her that Łukasz is still alive and he just wants to rest in some peacefull place... I hope it's truth.

The day before yesterday someone appeared near our house... small and lovely kitty, we decided to save and take care of him. We named him Felix ;).

At Halloween evening I just met my friend with red wine and talks at his place so I did not have to wear special scary clothes, lack of my make-up was enough horrific look ;)

I'm totally in...

GANGAM STYLE!!!
What a great song!
Heeey sexy ladyy ! :P

Today I wnet to my doctor and finally I can be sure that I can come back to my 'previous life' ;D
So, now I can do everything, do exercise, run, jump - just whatever I want ;D

It's is time to take care of my maths homework, so go on !

Getting better ;)

I feel much better than in previous days but sickness still gives me to feel a lot of it's symptoms. I'm getting better but still weak too ;) I know that it is normal for me however this time illness is so strong like never before. 

Two days I've spent in bed, I could do nothing more than sleep, little bit eat, and feed my cat, I was wholly 'crushed'.

Today I had to get up and go to the doctor, so I got a shower, put make-up, wore some clothes and went ;) I felt fresh air outside and woke up again, it is amazing feeling to smell scent of middle cold wind after longer time without it. 

What is more I put on my new wheels earrings, the most ordinary jewelry ever but I like them very much =)

I love theese two rings, for a long time I've been searching for totally black, simply and dapper ring, and I've found it in SIX at Grodzka Street, just for 6euro. The socond one I got from my Granny. Both are heavy, but this one less black is like a stone on a finger. 

Autumn standard.

Autumn is beautiful season, leafs changing colors and falling to the grund, temperatures are lower but still is not too cold. Despite the great weather I have to be cold... it is just tradidion.
I get cold everytime when weather is changing, it is nevermind which part of year is coming - my body responds in the same way - splitting headache, fever, runny nose, sneezeing, entire body weakness. This time even my teeht hurt me. When I woke up at 6am. I felt that it will be a hard day but I didn't know that I will stay in home, I tried to get up and I felt a pain of  whole body, then I lied again and I was sleeping until 10 am. I've just checked the news and I'm coming back to the book "Przedwiosnie".

End of another era.

Today Nightwish and Anette Olsson finnished cooparation. 
Personally, for me is hard to imagine another voice of this band, when I heard first songs with her voice I thought that boys have choosen the best singer in the world, she was totally diffrent than Tarja. Anette wasn't a diva, but very nice Swedish girl with a beaufitul voice of nasty angel. I remember when people was writting that 'new singer of Nihtwish' isn't as good as Tarja, and I was quarreling with them, simply I loved her voice since first heard notes. And what has left for NW fans? Just awaiting for 3rd singer of this band.
They have wrote "In recent times it has become increasingly obvious that the direction and the needs of the band were in conflict, and this has led to a division from which we cannot recover. ". It gives to think... I'm just happy that they did it in mutual understanding, without such big disapointment like it was with Tarja. And is one reason why I'm not glad... Floor Jansen replace Anette Olsson in comming shows... I dont know why but I don't like this woman. I hope that Anette finally record her own album and I'll can buy it for some time...
Goodbye Anette Olzon. 

  

I love it...

This school year will be so hard for me due to matura exams so I need extra maths lessons because I'm not good at this subject. I finished my lessons for today a few min. ago and now I have break beetwen my sql and optional maths. I decided to use this time to refresh my maths minds;)

Photos from the trip.

Our ice creams at Palms Place were very sweet but I very like go there when I'm near.

Zagan.

What a great motor I found in Zagan a few days ago.

On my way...

to Zielona Gora and back to Krakow.
As always I've met interesting people in train. One women who was coming back to Zielona Gora from sourandings of Rzeszow intrested me so much. All the time she was wondering about sense of a life. She is very happy, and she tries to find happiness in every small thing like a little flower . She also has a problems as everybody but her smile was so true. I couldnt find any false in her behaviour. Now she wants to change her life, she wants to do something more for herself because her children have grown up and they have own families she should take care about her health and personal life. I'm so glad that I've met her. She was totally right despite of that her neverending energy and smile sometimes made me little bit upset. She relized me that we take a care too much about money and etc. More love les stres.
I'm in Krakow finally. I need cofffeeeeeee!!!!!!!

Another trip.

I go to Zielona Gora with my Brother. We just have finnished food shopping for time which we'll spend in train.

Small trip.

I love Cracow and I repet it like a mantra ;-)

Time for 3rd post of July.

Well, I'm very upset,  I know that I'm 'always a bridesmaid, never a bride' but I want to get something more from myself nad my life but recently I'm so confused and I have no idea what I need to 'come back to real me'. Now everything seems to me so hard, every decision is a big problem, even when I have been choosing   my new couch/bed to my room I couldn't decide which color is better for violet walls. I don't now what is going on with me. Let's leave my problems.
I'm going to go for Woodstock festival with my friends, and I'm hope so that we will go there. Woodstock will start at 2nd August, reason of go there is Machine Head concert, thier last album is one of my favorites.
Last week I got another Hening Mankell's books, I love to read his criminals ;D
Today I felt that I need Michael Jackcson's music. These are my favorites :

One more thing: my lovely phone broke last week again... Now I have to search for new one :( 
So far I have found these two :

Samsung Galaxy Mini.

LG Swift 3
.

We won!

Hurayyyy! We won with the representation of the US!!!
It was a great match, our boys in 100% marited for 1st place on the podium in World League.

Very good job our vollayballers !

I'm getting better ;)

It were a such hard days for me, full of physical and mental pain. Due to my another disease I couldn't improve my marks and I have to admit that this is my the worst certificate ever... ;/

But finally my holiday moves on. I have never waited for break with a such strong longing. I need to rest like I have never needed . It seems to me that  I'm still changing or growing up ;)
Are many reasons of my need for rest but the main is it that I have enough my friends, thier behaviour seems to be so fake and I do not want to listen thier lieasing anymore. The second reason are my illnesses, I have been unwell too many times during 10months, and it has made me weaker.

The worst news - my vocal teacher finished cooperation with me. She has found a new job far away from Krakow, therefore I wonder about to continue my singing lessons.

Summer for 100%! Is so hot here,emphatically too hot. The best temperature for me is between 20-24degrees. Despite everything I want to enjoy this summer and I start from hair coloring(blonde roots decisively need black dye) and shopping( my wardrobes are waiting for new T-shirts, pants, underwear, shoes and cosmetics), may I finally think about new relationship because I thouhgt that I missed for someone who can be with me.

I have read a great book - The Fifth Woman by Henning Mankell. It is a stunning crime novel in my opinion. I'm searching for another books written by H.Mankell.

Some pics which I have found today ;)

 I dont know who and when took this photo.

Lovely cat ^.^

 Heavy metal man is looking after 4 kids. They were so polite ;) after all.

Little one pianist .She likes it.

 Little one model ;D

 In the background we can see very tired girl ;)

 During chemistry classes (me and Iza)

condt. during chemistry classes

 wonderful smile of Patrycja ;)

ohh and the Viking tattoo of my friend.

I love him ;)

I'm a person who likes smth what is not predictable and dulish I have to feel good energy and honesty from artist on the stage and Jelonek is the best combination of this two things, he enjoys on the stage everytime, nevermind where and with who, he just likes to do it,and of course he does it at very good way it seems me that he sends his kidness and love of music and fun to the audience. I love this coombination of two kinds of music. 

What is going on ?

I have no power and one aim - do everything what I can in order to finish this sql year the best as I'm able to do it. It is so hard due to my illnesses. So far I did my best for maths and now is a time for biology and chemistry. 

The proof.

Here is the proof that sometimes I wear smth what is not black ;D

What I do for my hair?

Well, by the years I was wondering what I should to do for my weak and damaged hair. I tested a lots of  hair cutting techniques, I didn't use a straightener or hair dryer but results were so weak... For a some time I was doing nothing for them I was using just a shampoo and conditioner protecting my color. One day I read at Anette Olzon Blog about castor oil, she wrote that it helps hair grows and keeps them stronger, then I bought  it and some other products : 

Castor oil - I use it twice a week. it gives results ;) (Hurraaa!)

Kallos Latte mask- it rebulids hair structure and keeps glossy color.

Silk smooths my hair and they are sooo soft ;)